What a Friend

Wow, what a joyous, strange, and exhausting week. I want to tell a story. It’s a story about friendship and Faith. In 2006 I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ. Two years before this, I wandered lonely and lost following a tumultuous divorce. I recognized this feeling because I experienced it once before when I was 14 & 15 years old. During both of these periods in my life, I made poor decisions fueled by loneliness and insecurities. However the second period had an advantage over the younger one in the fact that I was older, an adult now, and even though my world was crashing and full of stress, I had gained more wisdom. Even though I had insecurities, I was also secure in some things. One of these being my Faith in Jesus Christ. I was saved at a young age. The Lord God revealed Himself to me in some miraculous ways (I’ll have to save those for another day). But at 14 & 15 yrs old, I had lost that child-like faith. I didn’t know fully who he was or who and what he wanted to be to me. So by the end of 2006, after almost two years of wandering lost, trying to do things my way, I felt the pull of my spirit wanting something more, something true, lasting, fulfilling. Because I was saved, (even though no one would have known it by my life), I knew I needed Jesus.

I started turning to Him. I wanted to go to church but didn’t know where to go. In comes Stephanie E. She came to the shoe store I was a manager of, looking to pick up some part-time hours and soon we started working shifts together. Stephanie is an amazing soldier in Christ’s Kingdom. Completely sold out for Him, loves Him passionately and it shows, despite her circumstances. His light shined so brightly through her to me. She never knew what the Lord was doing or how He was using her to bring me back to Him. I started making changes in my life. One by one, little by little.

Next thing that happens, my friends start dropping like flies. Some just seem to go separate ways, others picked arguments that we would never recover from over odd things that didn’t seem to make any sense. But I knew what was happening. The Lord God was shedding all that was dead, everything that was not going to nurture my faith. I found myself friendless.

In early 2007 I was still friendless, when my BEST friend on Earth called. We hadn’t spoken in a year. He was hurt by the choices I had made while wandering lost. He invited me to church. At this church I was welcomed like I had never been before. Still can’t say that I have experienced the love of a family like I did there. The church was Word of God Mission, Church of God in Christ (C.O.G.I.C). I felt urged to speak to the pastor’s wife one day, Sister Kim. She shared some scripture with me about leaving the past behind, Philippians 3: 13-14 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+3%3A13-14&version=NIV . It gave me the courage I needed to continue cleansing everything that wasn’t God’s will for me out of my life. By the way, that old friend that invited me to church was Ben, my beautiful husband.

I need to fast forward now to 2012. Ben and I have been married for five years. We have two precious daughters together and we now live 900 miles away in a new state. We are sharing our love for Jesus Christ , but being saved doesn’t mean struggles and trials pass you by. There has been a lot of loooong suffering the bible tells of during our first five years of marriage. A lot of my long suffering was due to missing my two older children immensely after moving away. Many times I wished I had a friend or some one to talk to. I spend my days in our home raising our two daughters and every mom knows how at times you feel like you lose yourself in all your sacrifices. Only other moms can relate to all the emotions another mother experiences. It has been six years now since I had a friend besides my husband. Despite our happy life together, I did feel lonely at times.

Earlier this year I met a neighbor while taking a walk with my girls. Her name is Maria O. She is a stay-at-home mom of a beautiful almost three year old girl. After just one silly remark I made while passing by, we hit it off and became friends. We learned we shared many common interests and started enjoying them together immediately. Maria is extremely kind hearted. I’ve never seen her without a smile, even when she is tired. She has a special way about her that makes you feel comfortable, she’s funny, and she’s a great mother.

Then, just a couple weeks ago during a meeting for a job I was considering, I met Brooke C. I had gotten to the meeting site very early and Brooke was was the next to show up. We introduced ourselves and spoke a few words. We corresponded by email and arranged to car pool together the following week for training. The first car ride together was the first time we had any real conversation. It was a 30 minute drive to our destination but after 30 minutes I felt like I had known her forever. Just like with Maria, there is an ease of communicating. Brooke is well spoken and honest. In the short time that I’ve known her, she has already displayed a great level of caring towards me and made me feel special. We also share common interests and some life events I believe bond us together. Just like my good friend Maria, she is a mother of a beautiful little girl.

If that weren’t enough, two days ago I had just gotten home when my phone rang. Caller I.D. said it was Lauren M. I knew a Lauren M. once and I knew it was her. It had been about 22 years since I had last spoken to or seen her and here she was calling me. She had to do some tracking first but she managed to find my home number. I answered the phone and I couldn’t believe it was her. You see, Lauren knew me When I was 14 & 15 years old. The years I told you about, but she never knew I was so lonely & lost. We made plans to see each other the following night for the first time in over twenty years. I warned her I had a feeling we would find out we never really knew each other and I was right. She wanted to know every detail of my life since she saw me last and dive into the why’s of my emotions and actions as a young teenager. We talked over three hours and I was exhausted. The entire time I couldn’t believe I was sitting across from her after so many years. Since the Lord spoke to me through the scripture I mentioned above about letting go of the past; I have never looked back. Answering the “whys” doesn’t mean anything and it certainly doesn’t get you anywhere. If it won’t make me closer to Jesus I don’t want it. He instructed me to leave it in the past. I am excited to get to know Lauren all over again and I hope she likes who I am now. I’m deeply touched that she wanted to find me after so many years.

Through the six year span when the Lord fished the friends I had out of my life, to when he is now replacing them, I know he has been teaching me a very important truth…

That no matter who I have in my life or how close I am to them, He our Lord is the only one who can give me what I need. He is there when I’m lonely, He’s there when I’m sad, when I’m mad, hurt, confused, when I need rest, He’s my Jehovah Jireh , Prince of Peace. He is my King.

It is so awesome to see these women coming into my life right now. I have prayed for friends. I don’t want just any friend. I want good, sincere friends because that is the kind of friend I want to be.

Just like it is for being a parent, I think it is a great responsibility to be a friend. I pray that not only am I a good friend, but that I never forget that Jesus Christ is my Super Friend. I believe He finally gave me friends when I was ok with not having any.

I leave you with this special song: